If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.
This is perfect.
My mom thinks ill turn into a slut because i made a joke about boysenberry syurp
i think my neighbourhood deserves a sitcom because there’s
- me, the teen blogger
- a house with 8 nuns
- a drug dealer who drives a hummer
- a scottish man who only ever wears a kilt and mows his lawn at 3 am
- an elderly couple who drive everywhere on their lawn mower
- a peacock who has been roaming the neighbourhood for years and no one knows why or where it came from
I’d watch the shit outta that show
yeah shit me too sign me up
i was sitting in the bathroom today when like 5 girls walked in and i stopped pooping right away cause i didn’t want them to hear me but then i thought why is taking a shit so bastardized today like why cant i poop in peace in the privacy of my own stall without caring if people listen to the flop flop plop plop sploosh sploosh like damn just sing along to the ploop blop and enjoy symphony no. 9 a la my asshole
8-inch chocolate penis that oozes fondant cream… Fresh mint fondant, Valencia orange fondant, Williams Pear liqueur fondant, Mozart chocolate liqueur fondant, Cointreau liqueur fondant and Irish coffee liqueur fondant.
Okay but is it possible to get the filling colored red? Because obviously the best use for these is to make a gif or video where you’re licking and sucking at one seductively, making bedroom eyes at the camera, and then you BITE THAT MOTHERFUCKER IN HALF AND SHRIEK YOUR VICTORY AS THE DELICIOUS BLOOD-FILLING DRIPS FROM YOUR VICIOUS MAW.
This site scares me so much.
Reblogging because that damn comment
a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
Boy records interview with his future self in 1992 and has a conversation with himself in 2012
I expected to watch this and shed a nostalgic tear, instead I cried tears of laughter.
i watched this like five times yesterday because its amazing
this is pretty hilarious lmao